Not Another Top 5 List; How to achieve traveller chic (for the guys)

...I've had this one drafted since Thailand when it was maybe a bit more appropriate, but better late than never eh..?

1. Get the Costa del Shoreditch look
Take 1 pair of day-glo girls shorts with a 'full moon party' logo on (many colours available) and team it with a vest bearing the logo of a SE Asian beer (Chang, Angkor, Saigon Green etc.) A thick wad of colourful wristbands on one wrist is optional but recommended and voila! You have joined the masses and now you look cool

2. Don't cut your hair
So what if you sweat so much in the Asian sun that it is actually physically uncomfortable both for you and passers-by? Un-washed, un-styled and not-quite officially “long” yet in so en vogue...you look great

3. Focus on what is important
“Once you've seen one mountain” 365 was reliably informed in a pub in Sapa “you've seen them all” - that's the spirit, now whose round is it anyway?

4. Have sex in your dorm room
So you've finally managed to bed that blonde gappie from Bristol. Why wouldn't the 9 other people in your dorm want to share those magical 2 minutes with you? Please, go right ahead

5. Going loco
An excerpt of a conversation we genuinely overheard between two British backpackers in Hoi An;
lad1: “let's go out for dinner in a bit, what do you fancy?”
lad2: “I don't know...I think I might actually have Vietnamese food tonight”
lad1: “Really? Just make sure you're not sick for the big night out though, mate”
Thank you lad1; a total focus on 'the big night out' and the firm belief that any contact with local culture will harm you – textbook traveller behaviour


More not-so useful hints and tips for the travel savvy include How to survive a night bus and How to get the right day tour